Monday, March 21, 2005

NAFKAH BATIN: BUKAN HANYA KEPERLUAN SEKS

Tidak semua wanita yang tidak mahu berkahwin itu terlalu memilih suami yang
berpangkat dan bergaji besar. Ada juga dikalangan mereka yang bercita-cita
ingin mencari lalaki yang berilmu dan beramal diatas segala apa yang telah
diperintahkan oleh Allah swt.

Oleh itu mereka terpaksa bertangguh untuk mendirikan rumahtangga dan untuk
mencari seorang lelaki yang beramal saleh di akhir zaman ini ibarat
payahnya mencari sebutir mutiara asli. Sebabnya, ramai suami dewasa ini
mencuaikan tanggungjawabnya di dalam mendidik ahli keluarganya malah tugas
itu diserahkan sepenuhnya kepada isteri dan guru sahaja.

Kita percaya hampir ke semua suami berjaya menunaikan tanggungjawabnya di
dalam memberi nafkah zahir
(seperti makan, minum, pakaian dan tempat tinggal) kepada ahli keluarganya.
Tetapi bagaimana pula dengan tuntutan nafkah batin? Rata-rata masyarakat
sekarang memahami bahawa tuntutan nafkah batin itu sekadar untuk melepaskan
keperluan seks melalui jalan yang sah dan tidak lebih dari itu.

Bila sesempit itu pandangan mereka, maka timbullah berbagai masalah di
dalam rumahtangga. Contohnya, ahli keluarga tidak pandai bersembahyang,
tidak pandai mengaji Al Quran, cuai berpuasa dan tidak tahu hukum halal dan
haram. Isteri dan anak-anak hidup terbiar tanpa asuhan dan dididkan Islam
yang sewajarnya.

Nabi saw telah mengingatkan para suami dengan sabdanya yang bermaksud:

"Takutlah kepada Allah dalam memimpin isteri-isterimu, kerana sesungguhnya
mereka adalah amanah yang berada di sampingmu; barangsiapa tidak
memerintahkan sembahyang kepada isterinya dan tidak mengajarkan agama
kepadanya, maka ia telah berkhianat kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya."

Menunaikan nafkah batin bererti mengajar isteri dan anak-anak dengan ilmu
serta didikan agama yang sempurna sehingga terbentuknya sebuah keluarga
yang dianggotai oleh mereka yang soleh dan solehah. Barangsiapa yang cuai
atau lari daripada tanggungjawab ini bererti dia telah menempah jalan ke
neraka. Nabi saw pernah bercerita menerusi sabdanya yang bermaksud:

"Tidak ada seseorang yang menjumpai Allah swt dengan membawa dosa yang
lebih besar daripada seorang suami yang membodohkan ahli keluarganya."

Apakah ilmu-ilmu dan didikan yang mesti diajarkan oleh seorang suami kepada
ahli keluarga? Setiap suami bertanggungjawab mengajar anak isterinya
ilmu-ilmu fardhu ain iaitu tauhid, fekah dan tasauf. tujuan mempelajari
ilmu tauhid supaya aqidah mereka bertepatan dengan fahaman ahli sunnah wal
jamaah. Contohnya, mempelajari sifat yang wajib, mustahil dan harus bagi
Allah dan Rasul. Mempercayai rukun-rukun Iman dan rukun-rukun Islam.

Kita diwajibkan mempelajari ilmu fekah sebagaimana penekanan Allah menerusi
firmannya bermaksud:

"Ketahuilah! Bahawa dianjurkan bagi seorang suami memerintahkan isterinya
(dan mengingatkannya dengan nada yang lembut) dan menafkahinya menurut
kadar kemampuannya dan berlaku tabah (jika disakiti oleh isterinya) dan
bersikap halus kepadanya dan mengarahkannya ke jalan yang baik dan
mengajarnya akan hukum-hukum agama yang perlu diketahui olehnya iaitu hukum
bersuci, haid dan ibadah-ibadah (yang wajib dan sunat)."

Justeru itu, suami mesti mengajarkan isterinya cara-cara mandi hadas dan
berwuduk serta masalah haid, nifas dan wiladah. Juga mengenai cara-cara
menyucikan najis serta pembahagian air yang wajib untuk dibuat bersuci,
hukum halal dan haram serta banyak lagi.

Tujuan mempelajari ilmu tasauf pula supaya setiap amalan yang dilaksanakan
itu benar-benar ikhlas dan dijauhkan daripada bersifat riyak, ujub (hairan
kepada diri sendiri) sombong dan lain-lain lagi.

Selain daripada perkara-perkara asas tersebut suami juga bertanggungjawab
mendidik isteri, berakhlak mulia terhadapnya dan terhadap anak-anak,
ibubapa, sesama isterinya sekiranya ada, rakan-rakan, jiran tetangga serta
masyarakat.

Suami perlu memberitahu isteri tentang adab seorang isteri bersopan santun
dalam segala percakapan dan tindakannya. Juga tentang akhlak semasa bersama
anak-anak iaitu berbual dengan mereka dengan bahasa yang baik dan jangan
suka memaki-hamun mereka dengan bahasa yang kesat. Kerana sesungguhnya
kata-kata ibu itu mengandungi doa; jika tercetus dari mulut ibu kata-kata
seumpama "Beruk punya anak1" maka lahirlah watak beruk pada si anak yang
sukar untuk dilentur perangainya.

Selalu ingatkan isteri supaya banyak bersabar dalam menempuh segala ujian
dan perintah-perintah Allah swt. Ajarkannya batas-batas aurat dan
batas-batas pergaulan seorang wanita. Pastikan auratnya terkawal ketika
pergaulan dengan sanak saudara, sahabat-sahabat perempuan, dan ketika
berhadapan dengan lelaki yang bukan muhramnya. Dan supaya isteri tidak
keluar rumah tanpa izin daripada suami.

Isteri yang berjaya dididik dengan baik akan menjadi insan yang patuh
kepada Allah dan taat pada suaminya dikala susah mahupun senang. Dia akan
menjadi insan yang sentiasa menjadi pendorong serta penasihat kepada suami
dalam hal-hal kebaikan, malah sentiasa mendoakan keselamatan ke atas
suaminya pada setiap waktu.

Kesimpulannya, inilah sebahagian daripada tanggungjawab suami dalam
menunaikan nafkah batin kepada isteri. Kiranya suami jahil dan tidak mampu
untuk mengajar isteri dan anak-anak, dia wajib berusaha mencari guru yang
mampu mengajar. Semoga dirinya dan ahli keluarganya terselamat daripada
seksa di akhirat kelak.

Ibnu Abbas pernah berkata: :Berilah pengertian agama kepada mereka (ahli
keluarga) dan berilah pelajaran budi pekerti yang bagus kepada mereka."

Kebenaran tetap ada walau dalam kesamaran

16 Comments:

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It’s 11:00 in the morning and your energy is waning. Minutes seem to tick by like hours and your mind feels foggy. You’ve still got six more hours to look alert and act productive and get over generalized anxiety disorder, so how do you cope with the afternoon blahs? Follow these six tips!

1. If you have a job that involves sitting at a desk all day or staring at a computer screen, take five minutes to stand up or lean back, close your eyes and stretch, especially in your shoulder and leg areas. Being seated all the time can make your whole body feel stiff and sleepy. A good stretch session helps limber up your body and gets the blood flowing again.

2. Avoid the tempting lure of caffeine or sugar-laden foods such as coffee, tea or chocolate. Caffeine may perk up your energy levels temporarily, but it also has a bad habit of leaving you sluggish after the effect has worn off. Instead, choose whole grain foods, fruits and vegetables to give your body the fuel it really wants! Eating healthier will boost your mood, elevate your alertness, change generalized anxiety disorder and make you feel better all day long.

3. Along with healthier foods, take a quick 10-15 minute walk during your lunch break. Just a few minutes will give you a burst of energy that refreshes you and makes you feel more alert – while burning off your lunch calories in the process!

4. Sometimes, afternoon slumps can be your body’s way of telling you that it needs something. You may be feeling tired if your blood sugar is low (which happens especially after the effect of those caffeine and high sugar foods has worn off!). Packing a low calorie snack like graham crackers, granola, fruit or vegetable slices can give your body a boost and keep you from feeling hungry in the late afternoon and caving in to the urge to devour the entire contents of the vending machine after work!

5. Drowsiness is often a sign that you’re not getting enough water. Drinking more water throughout the day not only helps keep you awake, but also keeps you from feeling those hunger pangs that inevitably creep up in mid-morning. Taking a large sports bottle that you can drink from throughout the day is a great way to get your recommended eight glasses a day as well!

6. If afternoon fatigue is a recurring problem, it may be a side effect of medications you are taking. Allergy pills are well known culprits, as are some blood pressure and anxiety/depression medicines. Don’t try to circumvent these effects with caffeine, otherwise you’ll overload your body with stimulants while it’s already trying to deal with drowsiness, and you’ll feel mentally and physically exhausted. Instead, try a short 15-20 minute catnap. You’ll be surprised how refresh you’ll feel when you wake up! (Don’t try this at work though – I know it’s tempting!)

If you follow these tips on a regular basis, you’ll not only make it through the afternoon blahs, but you’ll also feel better physically and mentally, sleep better at night, and wake up rejuvenated and re-energized the next morning. Make it a GREAT day! generalized anxiety disorder

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Many of our modern drugs have harsh side-affects and cost the “earth”, so the next time you come down with a cold or the flu or anxiety symptom, why not try a gentle alternative that costs next to nothing?

Instead of immediately forking over large amounts of money for over-the-counter drugs, go to the kitchen cupboard and see what you can find to relieve your symptoms including anxiety symptom.

Here are some helpful hints for anxiety symptom …

A simple hot compress applied to the face is very soothing to those throbbing aches and pains of a blocked sinus, while a few drops of eucalyptus oil on a handkerchief can provide welcome relief for similar conditions. While supplements of vitamin C, D and zinc will shorten the lifespan of a common cold, a hot lemon drink is also extremely good. And be sure to cuddle-up in bed when you have a cold, as it will make the body sweat out the germs.

Cool lemon juice and honey are a great soother for a sore throat and gives the body much-needed vitamin C at the same time The juice of one lemon in a glass of water is sufficient. Melt the honey in a little hot water for ease of mixing.

A smear of Vaseline or petroleum jelly will do wonders for those sore lips and nose that often accompany a cold.

A 'streaming cold' where the nose and eyes water profusely, can respond to drinking onion water. Simply dip a slice of onion into a glass of hot water for two seconds, then sip the cooled water throughout the day. Half an onion on the bedside table also alleviates cold symptoms because its odor is inhaled while you sleep.

People prone to catarrh may find that chewing the buds from a pine or larch throughout the day will clear up their condition in just a few days.

Do you suffer from sore eyes? If your eyes are sore from lengthy exposure to the sun, try beating the white of an egg and then spread it over a cloth and bandage the eyes with it. Leave the preparation on overnight. Soft cheese (quark) is also a good remedy for this condition.

For those unpleasant times when you suffer from diarrhea, two tablespoons of brown vinegar will usually fix the problem. Vinegar can be rather horrible to take, but who cares! The problem is more horrible. Vinegar can usually be found in most people's cupboards, so you don't need to worry about finding someone to run to the shop for you in an emergency.

Sleepless? Instead of reaching for sleeping pills, which can quickly become addictive, try this: Drink only caffeine free tea or coffee starting late in the afternoon.. Go to bed earlier rather than later, as being overtired tends to keep people awake. Make sure the bedroom is dark and quiet. Use only pure wool or cotton sheets and blankets. Polyester materials can cause sweat and make you thirsty (if your child constantly asks for water throughout the night, this could be the reason).

And don't watch those scary movies just before retiring! If you still can't sleep, make a tea of lemongrass or drink a nightcap of herbal tea containing chamomile. It's easy to grow lemongrass in your garden or start a flower pot on the balcony for ease of picking. Simply steep a handful in boiling water for five minutes. Honey may be added for a sweetener.

Of course there will be times when you do need modern drugs, so if these simple remedies don't have the required affect, be sure to see a health care professional.


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