Ten Rules in Marriage

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and
lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage,
the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both
speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure
of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts
when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you
finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beau! tiful, understanding,
economical, and a good cook. However, the law allows only one
wife

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why the
wife treats her husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is
finished.

Bonus Commandment story
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned
over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to
make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well,
and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"Wow! This stuff really works!"