Classic Definitions & Cool Meanings

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at
one end & a fool at the other.

2. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the
notes
of the lecturer to the notes of the students without
passing
through "the minds of either".

3. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

4. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

5. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is
defeated by feminine water-power ..

6. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

7. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens & everybody disagrees later on.

8. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a
feeling you have never felt before.

9. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

10. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

11. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous
home life.

12. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.

13. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.

14. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually
and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

15. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

16. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

17. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to
be spoken of when dead.

18. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a
way that you actually look forward to the trip.

19. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he
accidentally falls into a river.

20. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower
says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

21. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter
in
ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

22. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

23. Father : A banker provided by nature.

24. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except
that
he got caught.

25. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late
when
you are early.

26. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections
and
your Confidence after.

27. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.

28. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such
mails......